Losing

Here we are! It's been a month of Sundays. Actually, it's been two months of Sundays. Of course, one of my goals for the year is to do more here. Or at least check in more than once every two months. So here we go. One of the prompts for my weekly "Currently" post this week is LOSING. I sat down to write the post for Sunday and it has turned into a post all by itself.

Well, as I sit here writing today, I'm losing a bit of my respect for human kindness and compassion. As a bus monitor, I see kids everyday that need more than what they are getting. We have a foster home on our route. We've seen several children come and go. Recently a young boy around 5 or 6 years old has been living there. I don't even know his name yet because we don't usually ask for paperwork until the children have been staying in the home for a few weeks. This morning as I crossed the road to walk him across, I said my usual, "Good morning!!" He looked sad so I asked if he was ok. This small little boy looked up at me, burst into tears, and said, "No! My daddy is dead!"

...  ...  ...  ... I was speechless. Yet so many things were running through my mind at the same time. One of the older children leaned in and told me that this little boy's father had been shot yesterday. The foster father just stood there. I leaned down, told the little boy that it will be ok, he just began crying harder. So the mom in me kicked in and I asked if he wanted me to pack him. He nodded. I scooped him up, held him tight. I didn't even wait for the bus driver to tell me it was ok to cross back to the bus, I just went. She radioed the school, I wrapped my arms around him while he cried. The most difficult thing I have ever had to do was to keep my emotions under control on a bus full of other children.

I am so angry at the foster "parents" who just stood him out by the road with the other three children to get on the bus as if nothing had happened to his sweet soul. I'm absolutely heartbroken.

The vice-principal met us at the front door to take him inside. We did the rest of our route and when we got back to our bus lot, I told the driver I had to go to the school to make sure he was going to be ok. When I arrived, the vice-principal was still at the door welcoming other students. I could tell he was as angry as I had become. None of us were prepared or expected our Friday to begin like this. He told me that boy said that both of his parents had been killed yesterday. My mind quickly returned to the news I had watched just this morning and recalled a story that three people had been shot and killed just yesterday in a nearby city.

I have so many unanswered questions. But I'm left feeling the loss of this little boy's parents. No matter the reason he was removed from their home, he is just a child who is now losing all he knows.

Give tighter hugs. Love harder. Be kind.